Living next to Philly.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Food Review: Sarah Lovelace (5 out of 5)

Food: Whatever she feels like cooking
Location: A cozy, 2-bedroom apartment in Bensalem
Phone: Get it yourself
Date visited: Many, many different dates
Rating: 5 out of 5

In rating dining establishments on this blog (and on Citysearch before I started writing here), I have been setting aside the 5-star rating for a place that has really worked for it. I wanted so badly to walk into John's Roast Pork and find the perfect cheesesteak, but alas, I will not give credit where it is not due, and it has not yet been due at any restaurant that I've visited.
So you can imagine the explosion inside my head yesterday when I realized, as I sat paralyzed by the latest culinary masterpiece that had eminated from Sarah Lovelace's kitchen of wonders, that I had found that 5-star dining establishment that I'd been searching for.

Sarah came into my life thanks to Joey Salvucci, my roommate from freshman year in college and very good friend (although his 1400 SAT score pales and shrinks like a flaccid penis next to my 1410). The two of them (both pictured above, by the way) started dating at the beginning of our senior year, when they conveniently lived directly next door to each other (and next to Keller's, the beer distributor). Joey had a Sam's Club membership, and fuckin' milked it for all it was worth, lining his fridge and freezer with meats, cheeses and various other delicious foods, until it could hold no more. So the two of them would cook, cook, cook and honed their hands in the kitchen.
Nowadays, the two of them live together in Bensalem, having moved there just a month ago or so from Mt. Holly, NJ. As of just recently, both of them work at the same financial company, which is funny because Sarah just got her job and will be making more money than Joey. The three of us comprise the road trip team for next year (see corresponding post), an idea that developed gradually over this past Democratic primary season, which was the impetus for countless Tuesday evening drives to Joey & Sarah's over the last year.
And during these visits, Sarah would selflessly take to the kitchen and cook up these masterful concoctions, generally corresponding with a state that was holding its primary on the day of each of my particular visits. Idaho's primary dinner was highlighted by potatoes, Iowa's by corn, and so forth. It was a brilliant way to enjoy the ever-stressful primary season, and the meals were always outrageous in portion and divine in taste. Her many masterpieces have included chicken parmesan over pasta, appetizer night (consisting of meatballs, stuffed mushrooms, shrimp and much more), or last night's dinner, quite possibly one of the most satisfying of my entire life.
I arrived at Joey's on the early side, just before 5:00 after working lunch at my restaurant. Usually, I'd have taken the easy route and chowed down on salad, chili and pork sandwiches during my shift, all of which I make or retrieve for myself and therefore don't have to pay for, as the rules go. But I held on, curbing my appetite for the evening ahead next to Sarah's kitchen.
After a smoke and a few rounds of drinks (Rolling Rocks and various shots), Sarah began the barrage with a frying pan adorned with a birthday cake-sized slice of Brie and a box of "entertainment crackers," which was gone almost as soon as she put it in front of us. After I declined a salad, I was instead brought roughly 1/3 a head of lettuce, intact, drizzled with ranch dressing and surrounded by croutons. And the main course, the glorious climax, featured steamed broccoli, creamy mashed potatoes and two large hunks of some of the best homemade meatloaf I've ever had. I felt my stomach expanding and my pace slowing, but it was too good not to finish. I shoveled every bite into my gaping mouth (besides the broccoli - no thanks), and proceeded to lay practically comatose in the living room for the next hour.
This is what Sarah does every time I visit (though yesterday's dinner was among the best she's ever made), and soon we'll all be living together in Portland, Oregon. She warned me that I will get very fat, which I look forward to as much as anything else in the world.
So hat's off to Sarah Lovelace, the culinary supergenius whose home is the best place I know of to eat an amazing, overfilling meal.


The Baby said...

what is the beaning of this portland, or business stan?

Sarah said...

you made my day

Anonymous said...

I am a radiologist and live in Smeesmoot Bogota. Ijust happened to land on this " BLOG" and have been reading it for a years. I just wanted to say that I hope You, Sarah, and Joey all get put into a tin trash can, smashed into a ball, and rolled down a hill.

Anonymous said...

I am a house wife living at home in my house in Dill, Spain. a friend of mine from Smeesmoot turned me on to this blog. It sucks. I am going to recommend everyone uses this product instead...

with this product my husband has satisfied my plug hole many times. I only enjoy the largest wangs. Oh and one more thing about the blog...cram it somewhere it dont fit till you wanna scream out jesus christ's name in defilement of little kid cords hanging down their pant leg you meatpuppet!